An Honest Review…

…A stay with the Family Matriarch & the Kitchen King


Photos of the house decked out for the 4th of July from a couple of years ago.

When the family gets together it is always a great thing especially if you are the houseguest. I recently spent a week at the home of my sister, the Family Matriarch (FM) and her husband of almost 49 years, the Kitchen King (KK). Whenever I stay with them, the KK always jokes about the review I will leave when I check-out so here it is because you asked for it.

Check-in: *****

…any hour, day or night, friendly staff willing to hold your wallet for the entire stay

Besides the fact that they have difficulty making eye contact with their free-loading favorite guest, they are typically quite cordial and humorous.

Price: *****

…where else can a relative mooch for free

This doormat made me feel right at home.

Cleanliness: *****

…as long as you clean up after yourself, the owners will give you 5 stars (I have used this video in a post a while back, but it is always one of my favorites when it comes to cleanliness being next to Godliness.)

Food: ***** + *****

…a previous guest◊ stated “restaurant quality” food on demand and I concur with this guest. The menu selection is too vast to list, but trust me, no one goes hungry, just ask my hips.

Pizza for three…now you know why my hips can talk.


Accommodations: *****  and      Location:*****

… room with a view of the Atlantic Ocean… fortunately, no upcharge as long as you tell them it was foggy and you couldn’t enjoy your view. (SHH! There was no fog…see photo below.)

…footsteps away from the Atlantic Ocean (depending on the season, this can be good or bad)


By the dawns early light…I am going to tell them this photo was from a few years back…don’t want the pesky upcharge.


Same view…Still from a video taken this past January…scary and the reason I visit them in Florida during the winter.

Activities: *****

…never a dull moment (some of my posts from visits past… here, here, here)

…walking on the beach, enjoying the sun, reading on the porch, wide-screen TV, free wi-fi, shopping close-by, bike riding through the neighborhood, annual clambake (held in my honor after all that’s why they call me “greatest”), and new this year moving furniture from three rooms and clothes in closets from the second floor to the third floor so that the hardwood floors could be installed. #12,000steps #IthoughtIwasaguest #ifyouareluckyenoughbeatthebeachyouareluckyenough #freehelp #thatiswhatmakesafamily

The New Floors

This is my claimed room. It is called the blue room because of its usual blue and white decor. No blue and white decor because I carried it to the third floor.


The green room, if you’re catching on you can infer that decor in this room is normally green. Yes, I schelped it up to the third floor.


The bunk room, pre-sanding, and overcoat. Due to my journalistic integrity, I must confess, I did almost no lifting from this room, but I was excellent moral support, which is what really matters.

A little word of advice if you are ever invited to stay with them for longer than 24 hours…do not share too much of your skill set because before you know it you’re bringing your own sewing machine to make slip covers. 

My Guest Project 2017 

And just in case you think you can tell them you will be arriving with no special talent…beware, they believe everyone can hold a paintbrush.

Those balusters and pickets aren’t going to paint themselves…truth be told those are vinyl, but the first picture in this post is the beach side of the house. Everyone in my immediate family has painted those balusters and rails.


Check out: *****

…always bittersweet, but at least they give you back your wallet. (Strange… I have mysterious charges on my credit card…Hmm, boat repairs?)

Now I know why they were so anxious to get the boat in the water while I was visiting.

This quote is always a winner when it comes to time spent with the FM & the KK.


Until next time,


◊ My Sons-ster #2 wrote a thank you note to the Family Matriarch & Kitchen King when he was about 15 years old, thanking them for his visit to their home. In his thank you, he wrote that their food was “restaurant quality”… the description is so fitting and true…we use the term quite frequently.


  1. Kelly L McKenzie says:

    I loved seeing your IG photos of your holiday and this piece makes me even happier. What a glorious spot. And they provide restaurant quality meals to boot? Holy. That’s special. The view from the bedrooms is beyond incredible. Thanks for sharing. I feel as if I’ve had a seaside holiday myself …

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